An unwanted addiction

There is a new dependence in my life. One that I'm not particularly pleased to have.

For the most part, I don't mind my addictions. Sure, I'm a slave to caffeine (I just brewed up a strong mug of chai, for instance). But it's such a loving relationship, I'm more like a member of its family. (ok, the whole slavery analogy kind of fell apart...) And I can't really complain about being kept in thrall to books since I feel that I really get a lot back from them. They make me smarter, better informed, more culturally literate, etc. Food doesn't really count since it's actually necessary for life. And chapstick is relatively innocuous, although it certainly is habit-forming.

But earplugs. Eeeee. Bane of my existence! I recently started experimenting with sleeping with earplugs to counter the noise that my roommate makes. He's really loud without being loud, if that makes any sense. He likes to listen to loud music, though after I've complained repeatedly, he's reasonably good about turning it down after 11 (a compromise; I'd frequently like to go to bed before 11...), but it's often still loud enough to bother me. I just don't get it. What's the attraction to listen to loud, pounding music? When I got home one afternoon, it was making my windows rattle! But even when it isn't that loud, it's still irritating. Why the need to listen to music with the bass on high, way out of balance? Because it's the bass that bothers, the bass that penetrates through the walls and keeps me awake. I had this problem earlier in the year with the downstairs neighbors. They'd play their video games (dorks) very loudly until all hours, and the intermittent gunfire and explosions were very annoying. But after leaving 3 notes on their door, it hasn't been a problem since. Why is it that the downstairs neighbors are more respectful of my bedtime than my own roommate?

The geography of the apartment also causes problems. His bathroom is a very thin wall away from the pillow end of my bed. (And that really is the optimal place for a bed, space-wise.) That means that every time he goes to the bathroom or takes a shower, I can hear it. I hate it that the bathroom fans are wired to the light so you can't do anything without its loud roar. (Though I think we both pee in the dark, with the door open for a little ambient light whenever we can.) And it's even worse when he showers. The roar of water is so loud! I certainly have a new outlook on my mom not allowing us to shower after she went to bed (and her room didn't even share any walls with our bathroom), but I definitely can't demand that of a roommate!

And then there's little things like the sound of cupboards being opened and closed in the kitchen, the surprisingly loud microwave door, his thudding walk (I get mocked a lot for walking on my toes, but one thing you can't say is that you hear me coming! I'm quiet as a cat!), the sound of voices when people are over or he's on the phone. These noises all make it to my room since, because of the cats, I'm obliged to sleep with the door open.

(Wow, this all is sounding really snotty.)

So it seemed like if I could sleep with earplugs, it would be a win-win solution. I'd have my quiet without having to be a neurotic nag. I already had a pair given to me by an airboat pilot during fieldwork a year and a half ago. (I'm a pack rat.) So I whipped 'em out. The hard part of using earplugs is actually getting them in properly. It's very difficult, and takes a fair amount of practice. If they aren't in right, they don't block anything. Eventually I got the knack; I discovered that I could tell if they were in because inserting them made me cough (weird, I know). And they do help. (When they're in right, of course.) And I was able to sleep with them in.

But even though I'm able to sleep with earplugs, I don't actually like it. They really make my ears hurt, and when I'm wearing them I hear a constant ringing in my ears. I guess since the signal is being dampened out, all I'm getting is sensor noise. Whee. I never wanted to associate my own ears with sensor noise... So obviously, earplugs are not optimal. But now I find I can't sleep without them. There's that whole addiction thing. Yarrrrrr. If I take them out because I figure it's quiet enough (say, my roommate isn't home), it invariably isn't. The cats will be crunching their food or licking themselves very loudly (you have no idea), or it will be windy outside, etc. I'll lie awake for an hour before sucking it up, gritting my teeth, and putting the earplugs back in. And then I'll fall right to sleep.

Maybe I just don't have the greatest earplugs. Having just the one pair leftover from fieldwork made me kind of nervous (if they weren't in right, they'd fall out in the middle of the night and then I had to have a fun time searching for them the next day), plus, they were getting kind of grodie. So a few weeks ago I browsed the earplug selection at Longs. I eventually chose a style for women. You might not believe me, but I didn't actually pick them because they're pink (added bonus). I figured that they might be smaller since they aren't intended for a honking-big male ear. I was wrong. It turns out the color is the only part of them that's "designed for women". D'oh. I poked around on the internet a little. These are very highly rated, but in terms of softness, they score a 2 out of 4 (with 1 being the softest). When it's time to get new ones (too bad I got the 7-pair pack!), I think I'll look out for Mack's SafeSound Jr. earplugs. They're made for little ears, get a 1 for softness, and are able to reduce nearly the same noise levels as the pink ones (only 3 decibels less). Cross your fingers that they're more comfortable! (I certainly will.)

So there you have it, my newest addiction. I think it's not so much a case of substance abuse as of a substance abusing me. (Seriously! My ears hurt!) My dependence on them really concerns me. I'm so afraid that having started to use earplugs, I'll have to wear them to sleep for the rest of my life. Dear God, no! Anything but that! Maybe I'll just have to buy a big house with a separate wing for the cats and a very large yard to distance myself from any neighbors. Sugar Daddy, where are you?!