Alternative alcohol
I think I've figured out why I hang out with 14 year olds. They hang out with me because I act like one of them. And I think that that's why I hang out with them too. For the chance to act goofy and carefree! I think it's kind of a booze substitute, in ways. Some people drink because it gives them license to act stupid. I just hang out with 14 year olds to act stupid! And all without those pesky side effects :D.
On Saturday I got to hang out with two of my teeny-bopper ballerina friends, L--- and T--- (look, I'm a Victorian novel!). L---'s going through some family trauma right now, so I offered my services of distraction par excellence, and T--- heard and wanted to come too. We made mango ice cream and watched When Harry Met Sally. And, of course, we had a lot of crazy conversations. My favorite was when I decided T---'s sister was a dumb vampire. We were talking about the exotic kinds of ice cream I've made, and I mentioned that one that I'm thinking of trying out soon is garlic.
I told this story to L2-- (arr, this whole Victorian novel thing doesn't work so well when you have 2 L---s!), another of my 14 year old friends. Then, I had to give her a ride back to Woodland after ballet (just like old times!) so we had the opportunity to come up with some crazy schemes of our own! I'll stick to this post's ice cream sort-of-theme, and recount this one to you (this one doesn't need dialogue form as much. Or maybe I just can't remember the specific dialogue, too much 14 year old excitement!):
After hearing about the mango ice cream that I made with L--- and T--- and about the whole garlic ice cream scenario, L2-- decided that she had to come over to make ice cream with me some time. Seems fair enough. I told her that I was planning on making kiwi ice cream for next week. "Kiwi ice cream! Oh! You have to let me come over for that!," she said. Ok. So now L2-- and I have a date to make kiwi ice cream on Saturday. The only problem, I told her, is that the only kiwi ice cream recipe I could find has raw eggs in it, which sketches me out a little bit. But still, we'll probably be ok since we eat raw eggs all the time in things like brownie batter and cookie dough. Mmmm. So we probably won't get Salmonella. (Salmonella ice cream! Aaaaahhh!) But even if we did, it might not be that bad. I mean, aside from the 2 weeks of pooping part. Because if we did get Salmonella, the health authorities would be hard pressed to discover the source, since naturally we'd keep the whole Salmonella ice cream bit under wraps. Instead, the only link they'd be able to find between us is the Pamela Trokanski Dance Workshop. So they would have to conclude that we got Salmonella from the studio, and we could blame it on the terrible terrible floor, and convince them that only marley could dispel the Salmonella danger. Of course, we both thought this was the greatest idea ever! Marley! It's what we've been longing for for years! But then L2-- got second thoughts. It seems she doesn't want to poop for 2 weeks. I tried to convince her that it wouldn't be that bad. That it was only 2 weeks, and that she wouldn't have to go to school for that whole time! She couldn't since she wouldn't leave the bathroom! And on the off chance that she did leave the bathroom, I taught her about my sister's Code Brown scenario and drills. Ah, Code Brown... L2-- was enchanted by Code Brown.
Don't you love under-the-influence-of-14-year-old stories?! They're just as entertaining as under-the-influence-of-something-else stories, but perhaps make slightly more sense, and I can remember them the next day!
Ok, now I'm going to search for another alternative: Coffee, an alternative to sleep.
On Saturday I got to hang out with two of my teeny-bopper ballerina friends, L--- and T--- (look, I'm a Victorian novel!). L---'s going through some family trauma right now, so I offered my services of distraction par excellence, and T--- heard and wanted to come too. We made mango ice cream and watched When Harry Met Sally. And, of course, we had a lot of crazy conversations. My favorite was when I decided T---'s sister was a dumb vampire. We were talking about the exotic kinds of ice cream I've made, and I mentioned that one that I'm thinking of trying out soon is garlic.
T---: Ooh, if you make garlic ice cream you have to invite me over!
Meg: Ok!
T---: 'cause my sister's had garlic ice cream, and she says it's really good.
Meg: Why'd she have garlic ice cream? Is she a vampire?
T---: No! It was garlic! A vampire wouldn't eat garlic ice cream!
Meg: A dumb vampire might. Your sister's a dumb vampire!
T---: No she isn't! She was at the Gilroy Garlic Festival!
Meg: Wow, she must be a really dumb vampire! That's a terrible place for a vampire to be!
T---: My sister isn't a vampire!
Meg: What happened when she ate the garlic ice cream? Did she say, "Garlic ice cream! aaaaahhhh!"?
T---: (mostly just giggles)
Meg: Garlic ice cream! Aaaaaahhhh! Aaaaahhhh! Aaaaaaahh! (I got a little carried away with the blood curdling screams at this point)
T--- and L---: (lots of giggling)
Meg: Actually, that's a great idea for bumping off vampires! Garlic ice cream! They'd never suspect! You could offer them a dish of ice cream, and they'd say, "oh, thank you. Ice cream!" thinking it was vanilla or something, and then they'd start to eat it and say "Garlic ice cream, aaaahhh!" and die! (I remain convinced of the brilliance of this scheme.)
L---: Wouldn't they be able to smell the garlic?
Meg: I don't think so, because it's ice cream. Cold things smell less than warm ones, you know? "Garlic ice cream, aaaahhhh!"
I told this story to L2-- (arr, this whole Victorian novel thing doesn't work so well when you have 2 L---s!), another of my 14 year old friends. Then, I had to give her a ride back to Woodland after ballet (just like old times!) so we had the opportunity to come up with some crazy schemes of our own! I'll stick to this post's ice cream sort-of-theme, and recount this one to you (this one doesn't need dialogue form as much. Or maybe I just can't remember the specific dialogue, too much 14 year old excitement!):
After hearing about the mango ice cream that I made with L--- and T--- and about the whole garlic ice cream scenario, L2-- decided that she had to come over to make ice cream with me some time. Seems fair enough. I told her that I was planning on making kiwi ice cream for next week. "Kiwi ice cream! Oh! You have to let me come over for that!," she said. Ok. So now L2-- and I have a date to make kiwi ice cream on Saturday. The only problem, I told her, is that the only kiwi ice cream recipe I could find has raw eggs in it, which sketches me out a little bit. But still, we'll probably be ok since we eat raw eggs all the time in things like brownie batter and cookie dough. Mmmm. So we probably won't get Salmonella. (Salmonella ice cream! Aaaaahhh!) But even if we did, it might not be that bad. I mean, aside from the 2 weeks of pooping part. Because if we did get Salmonella, the health authorities would be hard pressed to discover the source, since naturally we'd keep the whole Salmonella ice cream bit under wraps. Instead, the only link they'd be able to find between us is the Pamela Trokanski Dance Workshop. So they would have to conclude that we got Salmonella from the studio, and we could blame it on the terrible terrible floor, and convince them that only marley could dispel the Salmonella danger. Of course, we both thought this was the greatest idea ever! Marley! It's what we've been longing for for years! But then L2-- got second thoughts. It seems she doesn't want to poop for 2 weeks. I tried to convince her that it wouldn't be that bad. That it was only 2 weeks, and that she wouldn't have to go to school for that whole time! She couldn't since she wouldn't leave the bathroom! And on the off chance that she did leave the bathroom, I taught her about my sister's Code Brown scenario and drills. Ah, Code Brown... L2-- was enchanted by Code Brown.
Don't you love under-the-influence-of-14-year-old stories?! They're just as entertaining as under-the-influence-of-something-else stories, but perhaps make slightly more sense, and I can remember them the next day!
Ok, now I'm going to search for another alternative: Coffee, an alternative to sleep.
posted by Meg at
9:22 AM
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