Scandalous

Guess what! I'm wearing a brand new bra today! Ooh-la-la.

This is a major thing. I positively detest shopping for bras. It's another example of what I want apparently existing only in my dreams. I think the root of the problem is man's desire for large breasts. This leads to underwear discrimination. Appalling, I know. It is exceptionally difficult to find A cup bras. Why is that? Small chested women wear bras too... In fact, I received a lecture at ballet several months ago about the preeminent importance of always wearing a good, supportive bra, regardless of how much you've got to support. Yeah. As Helga, a psychiatrist, expained to me, hanging free stretches out the ligament that attaches a breast to your body. So the less you support them when you're young, the saggier they are when you're old. And eww, who wants that? (It was awful, by the way, being subjected to that lecture. I do wear bras almost every day (sometimes I forget)! I don't need to be mothered by some non-relative into wearing the proper undergarments...) But apparently, the bra industry isn't aware of the primacy of even small bras. Or maybe they do. Maybe they know that the fewer small bras they sell to waifs like me, the more push-up bras they'll sell to aging waifs... Hmmmm. A cleavage conspiracy, methinks!

And that's the other thing... Many of the few bras that are made in my size assume a dissatisfaction with our busts. They endeavor to "turn these mosquito bites into juicy juicy mangos" (Jenny's and my favorite quote from Bend it Like Beckham =D). I don't want that! I'm happy with my boobs. I don't want a wonder-bra, or severe padding, or pushing and squeezing action. Sheesh. One of the problems with majorly padded bras is that they stand on their own. It's a little annoying. Here's a related anecdote: When I was an Arabian Princess in The Nutcracker my junior year at Stanford, we had to wear harem pants and sequined purple wonder-bras as our costume. It was awful. Apparently the person in charge of costumes however long ago these were made decided to just get 4 C cup bras, assuming that that would fit anyone. Better to be too big than to be popping out, I suppose was her logic. Well HELLO! We're ballerinas... Why would anyone expect us to be so voluptuous as a C? Good grief. I put the thing on, and it didn't even touch me except for at the underwire. Yeah... that's real cute...

But I actually found some relatively decent bras that conform reasonably well to my wishes the other week! I had gone outlet shopping to get a really pretty dress to wear to ballet performances. That mission was a total failure. Most of the stores that sold women's clothing didn't sell dresses. They aren't empowering enough, I suppose. Of the few that did, they were either way too formal, too big (this one chain that had something like 6 separate stores there didn't have any sizes below 4 =P), or too skanky (damn teeny-bopper clothes). But the outing wasn't a total waste. I did get jelly beans and a t-shirt at the Jelly Belly store, and 2 bras (not at the Jelly Belly store)! One's slightly too big, but I'm willing to accept it given that the rest of my expectations are satisfied. The other one I wasn't sure if I would like. It's a little sportier. But I decided to wear it today since it's laundry day, and it's great! Yay!! Might even be my new favorite! Ozzie apparently likes it a lot too. He kept trying to open the door on me when I was getting dressed this morning... =P