Mail fraud

One thing that's kind of scary to me is identity theft. (You know, some deviant steals one of those pernicious credit card applications from your mailbox, becoming your doppelganger, at least in the eyes of CapitalOne... Unfortunately, since any consequences of profligate spending will be attributed to your name, they're able to destroy your credit. blahblahblah) Of course, I figure I'm relatively safe from such villany. I mean, I live in a far from ritzy, close to the tomato factory area. Stealing my identity really isn't going to get anyone very far, and my situation bespeaks that fact.

Much to my dismay, today I received some mail that had very obviously been opened by someone (and not even in a sneaky way, steaming open the envelope, or concealing it to look like the postal machinery had damaged it). I think it probably caught someone's interest by boldly proclaiming "YOUR FREE GIFT INSIDE!". Don't worry, my free gift still reached me. Luckily the would-be-bandit was smart enough to realize that my personalized address labels would be of no use to them.

Speaking of address labels, I now have an enormous surplus of them. A couple months ago I decided to take the plunge and order address labels, so that I would no longer have to use the hideous some-children's-disease-or-other ones that I had received free. So I received something on the order of 250 beautiful World Wildlife Fund address labels (a portion of the proceeds benefiting conservation!). The free address labels I got today are also from WWF, so they're very nice as well. Not as nice as the paid-for ones, but infinitely better than most other charitable group address labels. But clearly I'm going to move out of here (probably in a year or two) long before I run out of address labels. Out of stubbornness, I want to try to keep the excess to a minimum. So if I have your address, chances are you'll be receiving some letter from me sometime. See how great multitudes of address labels are! They promote the maintenance of far away friendships! If no postal joy comes your way, don't sulk! Just give me your address, you degenerate! =)