Eek!

So Tuesday was a bit of a stressful day for me. The most exciting event was that I checked out a couple kittens! As you probably know, Felix was kidnapped in June, and we've pretty much given up hope of ever recovering him. (Darn jerks in Chico stole our cat!) Cassie and I both really want a cat, though, so we've been biding our time. The wait is just about over, as it's now time for the fall batch of kittens to crop up. On Monday I found a flyer for kittens. It's a part of the Orphan Kitten Project at the vet school here. They rescue kittens that have been abandoned and would otherwise either die on their own or be euthanized because they're too young to live without a mommy. Then vet students foster them, raising them by hand, and eventually get to practice their skills at vaccinating and neutering them. When they're old enough (~8 weeks), they adopt them out to loving homes. My home will be one of those =D.

So on Tuesday I met one batch of foster kittens. To put it briefly, I am in love. They were two grey, super fluffy, super cute little kittens. One of them was fat and a hellion. The other one was trimmer, and super sweet and affectionate. He climbed into my lap immediately, demanding pets and playing with my fingers the entire time I was there. I think he was an Ozzie. That's the name he broadcast to me, at least =).

You're probably confused about how visiting adorable kittens can be stressful. Well, basically, now I'm way in love with Ozzie (although he's only Ozzie to me. I don't know if the foster people have even given him a name), and am just majorly paranoid that they won't let me adopt him. You see, even though I was the first person to visit the kittens, three people called expressing interest before I did. I think this would be an awful way to set precedent though. I mean, when somebody called is totally based on chance. When they saw the flyer is completely random. I would've called sooner myself, except I was trapped in the dungeon of statistics class. Additionally, they're hoping to keep the 2 kittens together, since they're brothers. Cassie and I really only want one cat right now. So I can accept that as a valid reason for them passing me by. There are lots of other kittens in other foster homes of course, so it's pretty much a sure thing that we'll be getting a kitten within the next month (none of them are old enough for adoption yet), but now that I've met Ozzie, I really really want him.

The other major stressor of Tuesday was that I was asked to go to Florida in 3 weeks and give a presentation on the project I'm working on. It's at a major meeting too, not some uber-specialized, podunk little thing. The fact that they're asking me means that no one else is able to do it. So I feel a little bit of pressure to accept just because who knows what they'll do otherwise. The major factor pressuring me to do it, however, is that it really is a good opportunity for me to generate a presence in the scientific community. Which is perfect, considering that my NSF application is due right before the conference. The only weakness my NSF application had last year was "scientific impact", which one of the reviewers interpreted as actually getting out and about in the community, specifically by giving presentations and poster sessions. So this would be a fabulous thing to include in my application.

Of course, I'm experiencing major hesitations. Largely because I suffer from severe presentation anxiety. I absolutely hate public speaking. And I've only given class presentations. I've never even been to a conference before, my presentations have never actually mattered. Additionally, I don't think I'm really knowledgeable enough about this project to give a presentation. I'm just one of many people working on one of many datasets. Sure, I'd probably manage to get my way through the 12 minute presentation (with major preparatory help from the other people working on this), but the 3 minute question answer session afterwards could be especially problematic. Definitely I've seen people give talks about things they don't know much about before, and it's generally pretty obvious. I don't want to be one of those! Oh well. I'll probably end up going. Man, I really hate Florida. Wish me luck!