Diagnosis

My eye is being all kinds of mildly funky right now. It kind of hurts, and is slightly (though not really noticeably) swollen. Ok, it's not actually my eye, but my lower eyelid. Not a huge deal, but it's uncomfortable if I blink rapidly. And gee, I just don't know what I'll do if I'm unable to flutter my eyelashes! Even for a couple days! =D

So this morning I decided maybe I should ice it. Unfortunately, there's no ice in the house. Coca-cola to the rescue! Yes. A little known function of coca-cola is use as a cold compress. Not only is it nectar of the gods, but also poultice of the gods. And what better than a cold compress that is also a refreshing, caffeinated beverage? (Though careful: be sure that you do not open the coke until after you have used it to treat the affected area. Otherwise you might end up with a sticky mess (no sticky messes here!)).

Despite the soothing properties of coke, I figured I should probably learn a little about my malady. So I decided to check out webMD. I think this site is a great idea. It helped me to figure out what's ailing me (probably a stye or some other member of this type of thing) and learn what I should do about it. It helps you to gauge the seriousness of a health disorder, and recommends when you should consult an actual doctor. It also has the occasional illustration, to aid in diagnoses.

This said, I think that there is a very real potential for abuse here. I'll go through 2 case studies to illustrate possible dangers.

1. my mom. You see, my mom is a hypochondriac. If my mom were techno-literate enough to be able to use this site, all sorts of problems would ensue. She'd diagnose herself with everything under the sun! And when given a choice of plagues that might cause a certain symptom, she would invariably select the worst, the most lethal. She definitely needs supervision. Things were fine (or at least better) when Jenny and I were at home to supply a voice of reason, but since we've left and she's only had her own paranoid self to listen to, she's "contracted" all sorts of ailments. For instance, one time she became convinced that she suffered permanent ear damage from a Bob Dylan concert. She's also sought medical help when she cut her thumb making dinner. I know someone who's actually cut the tip of her thumb off making dinner (this my mom did not do) and who refrained from going to the doctor (perhaps not advisable), yet my mom, who merely suffered a superficial wound insisted on a doctor's opinion. sheesh. It's hard to say what doctors think of people like my mom. On one hand, I'm sure hypochondriacs help to make a medical career so lucrative. On the other, they're just so darn annoying!

2. me. While my mom is a hypochondriac, seeking diagnoses and prescriptions for every little thing, I generally err on the other side. I stubbornly refuse to seek medical attention for almost anything. Perhaps it's part of a mild invincibility complex. I hate being sick, so consequently, I refuse to admit it whenever I am sick. And going to a doctor is not only admitting the illness, but acknowledging that it has you whipped and there's nothing you can do for yourself. Things I probably should have gone to a doctor for, yet didn't include the cold I had for a month freshman year, whatever horrible germie thing I had for Valentine's Day this year, my weird shoulder issue (from Social Dance I), and my sprained hip (from ballet). Of these, only the shoulder and the hip are still weird. John thinks I should still go to a doctor about them, at least the shoulder. Why bother? It's been years. What can be done? I've been good lately, however and have actually gone to the doctor for a few things. Things like poison oak (hey, even I know when to give up. Not that doctors can even really do anything about a plant's rage) and my infected wisdom tooth. See! I'm not quite the extremist I pretend to be =D. The problem with webMD for people like me, is that I think it will tend to promote the further trivialization of medical conditions. Even just knowing what something is helps with the trivialization. WebMD provides a (potential) name, and even some treatment suggestions. That removes part of the fear that accomanies freaky symptoms. This eye thing worried me before I started researching it on the internet. Now it's just a nuisance. And perhaps that's ok. Styes certainly aren't a major threat. But what if it were something worse (which it might be. Who'm I kidding? I'm not a doctor, I can't diagnose anything for sure. (And for that matter, can a real doctor even?))? By removing the uncertainty, webMD removes what slight motivation I might have had to seek treatment. Oh, it's just bubonic plague? Ebola? Lyme disease? No problem! =D

For the rest of the population, you people who are neither hypochondriacs nor mental cases denying your own mortality, I think that webMD should provide a valuable service. Just don't be my mom, don't assume the worst, and don't go to the doctor unless it seems necessary (and the website supports that decision). And don't be me. Have a reasonable threshhold for determining when clinical care is necessary.