Senescence

There's no hiding it, we're getting older. But why do we age? I'm not talking about the ubiquitous passage of time. But rather, physical aging. Why does time take a toll on our bodies? Why do we gradually decay? Wouldn't it be so much better just to stay young, in our prime forever?

It's a question that life history ecologists and evolutionary biologists love to ask. Probably the most accepted answer is that as we get older our reproductive value declines. Since we're less and less likely to contribute to the next generation, evolutionarily we don't matter. We might as well be dead. Didn't the Japanese Prime minister say something like that? That all post-menopausal women are worthless? From a limited perspective (a very limited perspective) he's right. They're not going to directly contribute genetic material to the next generations. Of course, they still have a fantastic potential to contribute socially. Social evolution is perhaps more important to humans right now, and is independent of age.

But I digress... So anyway, if us old and grey have pretty low fecundity, it doesn't really matter what happens to us. So there is no evolutionary mechanism that is going to prevent our decay. There's nothing to be done. We'll just start accumulating deleterious mutations until bang, we're gone.

At least, that's what the scientists say. Personally, I think I've found another explanation. It's not mutations we accumulate, oh no, it's addictions. We're more likely to acquire a new addiction than to kick an old one, right? I mean, they're addictions. By their very nature they're easier to catch than to get rid of. So the net rate of addicting is positive. Well, the more addictions you have, the more likely you are to neglect one. And that's what gets you. Death from withdrawel. So it goes, so it goes.

Case in point: look at me. I certainly have more addictions than I did, say, two years ago. And some of them seem to act synergistically, making me more addicted not only to them, but to others! Everyone knows how addicted I am to coca-cola. That's probably one of my oldest. And in the past year, as many of you know, I've developed a dependence on pearl milk tea. But this one seems to be seasonal. Lately, it's been ebbing in favor of a steamed milk addiction. This one is entirely Jed's fault. Though I guess turn about is fair play. I did addict him to pearl milk tea...

So lately I've been stalking steamed milks. I've been pretty lucky too. There are some nice, non-Starbucks coffee shops around here (though it's no Athens). I can't go to Starbucks. I've been informed that I'm too uncool. I was forced to go to one over Christmas, where I ordered, of course, a steamed milk. The burrista confidingly informed me that "here we call those cremes." Jerk! The worst part was that underneath his condescension he seemed really proud of himself. Like teaching this poor, cute little girl Starbucks lingo is his good deed for the day. Arrr!

Anyway, the independent coffee shops here have pretty small menus, and neither of the ones I've been to have actually listed steamed milk. No worries. They all know how to make one. The only result is that since it's not on the menu, they basically charge me whatever they feel like. On Saturday I only had to pay $1! Rock on! Yesterday I had to go questing for steamed milk. I had gone out to pick up some yarn for my next knitting project, and planned to stop at this coffee shop on the way home. The horrors, it was closed. But, I remembered, there's also a bookstore on my way home, and bookstores tend to have cafes. Score! Success. I managed to get a steamed milk. But this, of course, led me directly into the clutches of another addiction of mine. Bookstores, and books. So my arbitrarily $2 steamed milk also cost me 2 new books and 3 postcards. See if one gets to your mailbox!

Well, I think this treatise on my addictions has gotten to be too long. Guess I'll just have to omit all the computer games that have me hooked....