White female seeks flesh-eating hermaphrodite

(and no, it's nothing kinky)
So my latest whim is that I really want a venus fly trap. There are two monstrous dipterans investigating my room as I write this. But I don't want it for pest control reasons. Primarily I want one for the novelty. Because they're cool. Also it would keep Floyd company. I've even already got a name selected! My future venus fly trap will be Chloe.

But I find that I am very much thwarted in my efforts to acquire Chloe. I've called a couple of local nurseries today, and none of them carry venus fly traps. As a last resort, I even tried Target. I mean, they have a garden shop... It was worth a shot! But the woman who answered the phone seemed very scornful of my request when she replied in the negative (of course). Almost as if to imply that I'm an evil, devil-worshipping person, merely because of my desire for a carnivorous plant. Sheesh!

Oh well. I guess I'll have to give up on my search for the time being. Maybe I'll try again when I'm in the Bay Area this weekend. Perhaps they'll have more sophisticated, or at least more sadistic plant selection than the Central Valley does...